


I Need to Stop being Daniels Friend

by iceprinceloki



Series: Forays Into Indecency or Daniel is a Poor Choice of Friend [1]
Category: Vampire Chronicles - Anne Rice
Genre: Adult Content, Daniel is always getting Louis into difficult situations, Embarrassment, M/M, Mischief, Prudishness, Relationship Problems, Sex Toys, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:01:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21546469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iceprinceloki/pseuds/iceprinceloki
Summary: Daniel keeps getting Louis into trouble, this time it is the most humiliating, mortifying and soul destroying trouble ever.
Relationships: Armand/Daniel Molloy, Lestat de Lioncourt/David Talbot, Lestat de Lioncourt/Louis de Pointe du Lac
Series: Forays Into Indecency or Daniel is a Poor Choice of Friend [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1553704
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	I Need to Stop being Daniels Friend

**Author's Note:**

> So kinda based on personal experience. I had a buddy who did this to me and I was nearly dead when my parents wanted to know what the devil I'd bought. :D

I cannot believe I let Daniel talk me into this. The evening started out so innocent and normal. Just the two of us hunting, having some fun, talking about our beloved makers and catching up. How it got to this I cannot fathom but I suppose this is as good a place as any to share the tale.

It was a cool autumn night in New Orleans, Daniel and I were out hunting together while Lestat caught up with Armand and Marius at our apartment. After completing our nightly necessity we sat down in a park to talk and catch up on each others lives. This is where everything started to go downhill.

‘Lou, can I tell you something personal?’ Daniel looked so desperate to share whatever his news was and I nodded my head in agreement. ‘Armand and I have been using Fareeds hormone injections for the last month, and it’s been amazing and I haven’t had anyone to talk to about it but I have details to share and I really want to talk about them!’

I felt my face colour and warm as I realised what he was talking about, but Daniel is my friend and I want to be supportive. ‘I am all ears, what would you like to discuss about it?’

I cringed at my own words, the metallic tone of my voice ringing in my ears, the unusually high pitch bothering me. 

‘It’s been so good! We’ve never been closer, we talk a lot more about personal stuff and we have just grown as a couple and I think as individuals too. I mean he loves it, he initiates most of it, and it was his idea in the first place….but Lou….its so hot, he takes charge and makes me melt and its so easy to just submit and let him do whatever he wants to make me scream! And it’s good I have no complaints but I want to try to take him by surprise….I want to do something different with him that he won’t see coming…’ Daniel leaned closer to me and conferred his thoughts quietly to me. ‘I want to try take control and be the boss for a night, and I thought that if I get some toys it’d take him by surprise you know? Throw him so off guard he won’t know what’s happened until…well you know where I’m going with that sentence.’

‘I see….and why do I feel like this is going to involve me?’ I frowned at him wearily, for though he is my friend I know all too well how often he can get me into trouble. The last time he’d had a scheme like this we had been locked in prison and our makers had to come bail us out. My rear still stings when I think of how angry Lestat had been.

Daniel grinned impishly and took me by the shoulders. ‘Because I want you to come to the shop with me and help me pick, you know him intimately as much as I do. You guys used to share blood when you were together, among other things, you know what he likes and dislikes….’

I pulled away quickly and scrambled to my feet, holding my hands out placatingly. ‘No! No Daniel I cannot go to an establishment of that sort, it’s not comely! I will wait for you nearby while you go inside but I will not be a part of it!’

‘I’ll tell Lestat about the ice cube.’

I glowered at him, annoyed that he would threaten me with such hefty blackmail material. Daniel laughed and nudged my shoulder playfully. ‘Come on Lou! It’ll be fine!’

I argued the entire five blocks we had to walk to get to the nearest establishment. Daniel didn’t seem fazed by my arguments, he simply smiled and pulled me into the shop bodily. The glass was blacked out, we had to walk through the glass doors into a corridor, we then passed through a metal gate at the end of the corridor. The store was poorly lit, about a dozen shelves of DVD’s were lined up neatly around the room, glass display cases sat locked in various places around the room, filled with all manner of gadgets.

Daniel dragged me to a wall of BDSM toys and I made sounds of approval or disapproval as he asked me if Armand would like each item he selected. Daniel wandered off into the DVD's and I turned to see an entire wall was devoted to phallic shaped items of all sizes, colours and apparently functions. I stared at a box with a very large purple device that boasted being fully waterproof, rechargeable and having ten functions; including a rotation function. I felt like a tomato. A hot, overripe tomato. 

Daniel came up to me with his basket of toys and a sly smile on his face that made me nervous. ‘You know you could buy some stuff to use with Lestat….’

I felt a different flush come to my face, a flush of pain and sadness. ‘Lestat and I aren’t…..David has moved back into the apartment….’

Daniel grasped my arm gently. ‘Oh Lou, I’m sorry I didn’t know…’

‘No matter…he wouldn’t use any of this anyway, he wants to share blood….I doubt he has even thought to use Fareeds injections…’

Daniel looked at me sadly for a moment before looking excited. ’So what if you aren’t lovers? And you know you can use the injections by yourself! You should get something for yourself!’

Daniel looked at where I’d been looking took the purple phallic item off the shelf and grinned at me. ‘You need to destress and learn to have some fun!’

‘Non merci! I know how to have fun and I destress with my books.’ I tried to be firm.

Daniel raised one eyebrow at me knowingly. ‘Come on, what's the harm? Aren’t you curious Lou?’

I stared wordlessly at him with my mouth slightly open as I tried to find the words. He shook the box at me playfully.

‘I even know what you can name it! Riccardo, because he says RRRRR every time you turn him on!’ Daniel winked naughtily at me.

I felt my soul leave my body, I went ice cold with horror and embarrassment, I thought the floor would swallow me whole, I thought I saw a flash of blue light. In short: I was mortified.

Daniel moved to go past me to the counter, with his selection and the purple thing in hand. I grabbed him roughly and glowered. ‘You cannot be serious! I will not buy that thing!’

‘No? Then I’ll buy it for you.’ He tried to pull away but I held fast. ‘Come one Lou, what’s wrong with it? You can use it in the bath, you just plug it in to charge it and it gives two hours of play time, it has ten functions for you to choose from, its soft like a real dick and its easy to hide.’

I was still blushing red hot as I had been since he suggested this adventure. ‘Daniel, it is monstrous!’

He frowned and looked at it again. ‘Well they have other colours?’

I rolled my eyes heavenward and prayed for patience. ‘No Daniel! I mean it’s….it’s…’

Daniel stared at me waiting for me to get the words out of my mouth, I gestured pathetically trying to infer my feelings to him without speaking. He laughed suddenly realising my meaning.

‘It’s not that big! It’ll fit don’t worry, I can teach you.’ He pulled out of my grasp and marched to the counter.

I rushed behind him hoping to convince him to stop. He brushed me off and told the cashiers we would need two bottles of lube, and two bottles of cleanser and they promptly arranged his purchase into one bag and mine into a separate bag, both brown paper with no labels, symbols or indication of where the purchase was made. Daniel made the purchase despite my hissed arguments and insistence that he stop.

The cashiers smiled at us kindly and told us to enjoy our evening, fortunately they were neutral and didn’t make me feel like they were judging us or inferring we would use these devices together.

We walked out with our brown bags in hand and my heart pounding in my gut. I felt more embarrassed than I had in my entire life, and I made sure Daniel knew as much.

‘I cannot believe we just did that! I have never felt this mortified! I have never done anything like that! What is Lestat going to say?? He’s going to laugh at me! And your maker and Marius are at the apartment! What will they think?’

‘Calm down Lou! No-one has to know about this! You don’t have to tell Lestat you know….there’s nothing wrong with buying sex toys! You’re investing in your pleasure! You’re an adult, and adults have needs, buying this stuff and then using it is a perfectly natural part of being an adult…everyone does it once in their life!’ Daniel gently tried to put my mind to ease.

I still felt flustered and humiliated. ‘Daniel Lestat is the nosiest person alive! He will find it!’

Daniel laughed at that. ‘You have a four poster bed with that fabric roof thingy. Just hide it on top of that, he’ll never think to look there!’

We could see the apartment and I gestured Daniel to stop walking before we got in hearing range. ’I don’t want them to know about this. They’re going to see and they’re going to know!’ I moaned covering my face.

Daniel rubbed my back comfortingly. ‘Don’t worry Lou they won’t know, they won’t even ask I’m sure you come home with stuff all the time.’

We walked up to the apartment and I tried to get the red out of my face and neck before we opened the door. Walking into the apartment the foyer opened into the parlour where Lestat, Armand and Marius sat talking peacefully. They stood and came to greet us.

‘What do you two have there?’

I glared at Daniel, the red returning to my face. I knew it would happen.

‘No-nothing Lestat…’ I stammered putting the brown bag behind my back anxiously. ‘Just some..uh…books?’

I could have slapped myself. Daniel stood by his maker and gave me a thumbs up discreetly.

‘Yes a book! A very boring, uninteresting book.’ I said more confidently. ‘So boring and uninteresting in fact that I probably won’t even read it or I’ll fall asleep reading it or I won’t even take it out of the packaging.’

Lestat frowned by a smiled played at the corners of his mouth. ‘Oh? What book might that be?’

I stared at him flabbergasted. ‘Pardon?’

‘The book dear heart, the book, what is it called?’ Lestat said impatiently obviously becoming more curious by the second. A dangerous state of mind for me to be accosted by.

‘Oh it’s…uhm..’ I floundered.

‘War and Peace!’ Daniel helpfully chipped in.

‘But Beautiful One, we have three copies already?’ Lestat looked puzzled. ‘And you love that book?’

‘It’s a special edition, gold lined pages, that lovely thin soft paper like they print the bible on…’ Daniel chipped in again, trying to help me out of my predicament.

Lestat looked suspicious. ‘Let’s see then? It sounds like a handsome copy.’ He reached to take the package from me and I darted out of his reach and wrapped both arms tightly around the bag.

‘NO!’ I yelled with a voice like a pubescent boy. 

They all stared at me in shocked and confused silence. Armand was frowning at me and I knew immediately what he was doing. The youths face split into a huge grin and a mischievous glint entered his eyes. He laughed softly and let me know telepathically that he was impressed by my gall but not so much by my acting skills.

Lestat rounded on Armand with a glare. ‘What? What are you laughing at?’

Armand kept his mouth shut thankfully.

‘Louis really wants to be the first to read it…I tried to look at it earlier and he said my hands were too dirty and I’d ruin it.’ Daniel said to Lestat with a mock sad look on his face.

Marius was watching silently as the events unfolded, he looked at me with a knowing smile that made me beet red.

‘Yes I want to be the first to read it, it’s delicate and special to me! I might not even read it at all. I might keep it in this nondescript little brown bag I got from the bookstore and not another store. Because it is a book in this bag. Which you can only get at a bookstore, which is where I was earlier with Daniel.’ I backed my way up the stairs as I spoke, hoping Lestat wouldn’t give chase in his obvious curiosity.

He stared at me like I was mad but he smiled in amusement and shook his head in confusion. ‘Alright my heart….enjoy your book if you ever unwrap it from its nondescript little brown bag you got from the bookstore.’

I felt my heart in my gut and my ears went hot, I bolted for my room and slammed the door before Lestat could get through behind me. Now I had to hide it.

I just managed to get it onto the fabric tarp, out of sight, over my bed as Daniel had suggested when Lestat barged in and stood grinning at me like a cheshire cat. I stood innocently beside my bed and smiled nervously at him.

‘Hello Lestat, can I assist you?’ I hoped my voice wasn’t too high pitched.

Lestat raised an eyebrow and put his hands on his hips. ‘Where is your little parcel my love?’

‘Parcel? What parcel Lestat?’

Lestat gave me an annoyed look as he slowly walked around my room examining every available surface and possible hiding place. ’The one you just tried so fiercely to defend downstairs.’

‘I wasn’t defending it fiercely Lestat I was-’

Lestat was in my face in an instant. ‘Don’t lie to me Louis. I know as well as you that you didn’t buy a book. You have never fallen asleep reading in all the years I have known you, especially not Tolstoy.’

I flushed and stared guiltily up at him. ’I don’t know what you mean Lestat it is a book.’

‘Then it isn’t a book by Tolstoy. What is it? A comic book? A graphic novel? A dirty magazine? The Karma Sutra?’ There was laughter and innocent curiosity in his eyes. ‘Tell me Beautiful One I won’t laugh at you!’

‘Lestat I swear to you it’s none of those things! It really is an innocent copy of War and Peace!’ I pleaded desperately feeling awful for lying to him.

His face darkened and he loomed over me making me sit on my bed. ‘Don’t lie to me. What is it?’

I stared at me feet and whispered again that it was just a copy of War and Peace. He roared at me not to lie and to tell the truth, before searching through my room carelessly for the innocent brown bag, fortunate for me that he didn’t look where I had actually hidden it. When he ran out of places to search he looked at me in frustration and confusion.

‘What the devil is so important that you have to hide it so well that I cannot find it?!’

‘Nothing Lestat….Please leave it!’ I begged him anxiously.

His face softened and he knelt in front of me where I sat on my bed. His hands were wrapped around mine and I took some small comfort in the cool familiar hold.

‘Beautiful One, this isn’t like you…what has the imps devil spawn gotten you into this time?’

I shook my head and avoided his concerned eyes. He tried for over an hour to get the truth out of me, finally giving up when I maintained my shameful silence. He left in a huff still looking concerned, but closed my door sharply and left me for the remainder of the night.

That is where I am now. I have no idea how long it’ll take for him to find it, or how to keep him from finding it. My only option is to move it every time I leave the house, or take it with me or simply throw it away. But not that I am alone finally I have taken it down to look at it and I wonder if Daniel isn’t correct, perhaps it is a normal desire. Perhaps its worth a try….


End file.
